Etiquette Reality Check For Wedding Planning

August 19, 2010 Weddings Unlimited, Inc.

A recent Cincinnati bride hosting a black tie affair sent invitations including all the additional inserts including the response card. strangely enough, instead of the typical check off for “accept” or “decline”, the card was blank! Many guests were calling to find out what to do or simply writing a funny note back to the bride.  What would you have done?

Coming from generations of Americans you probably wouldn’t have a clue. But if you were from Europe and schooled in proper etiquette, there would be no question as to how to respond.

If a traditional, engraved invitation to a wedding ceremony and reception arrives without a printed R.s.v.p. card, the guest is expected to send a written response to the wedding host promptly. Either use the blank card enclosed or plain white or cream-colored notepaper in blue, blue-black or black ink.

For a formal reply:

     Mr. and Mrs. Joel Kingsworth

             accepts with pleasure

                   the invitation of

     Mr. and Mrs. Ernest Cain Black

     for Saturday, the third of May

             at half after six o’clock.


Or in case of a formal regret:

     Mrs. Joan Rickert-James

regrets that she is unable to accept

            the kind invitation of

     Mr. and Mrs. Ernst Cain Black

for Saturday, the third of May.


An informal acceptance:

Dear Sharon.

     Rich and I are delighted to be included among the guests at Melanie’s

wedding on the fifth of June at 11:30 a.m., at Forest Chapel UMC. We are

looking forward to both the ceremony and reception.



Informal regret:

     Dear Sharon,

          Claudia and I regret that we will be away on the

     fifth of June, as my younger brother will be graduating

     that day. You know that nothing but a family celebration

     of our own could keep us from attending Melanie’s and Tom’s


     Please give Melanie and Tom our best wishes for their future





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